Sometimes you feel completely powerless. It is as if you are under a curse, you start to doubt your gifted abilities and hard work. You think someone or something deleted your powers. Nothing works out, you vile away tons of time worrying doing nothing, nothing and nothing. Simultaneously the combination of guilt, regret, anger and frustration starts eating you from inside. Resistance kicks in. The devil starts playing with you. You “feel” you have no choice but to become a slave of it. Fear starts snowballing.
I am in the same position from the last 20 to 30 days. Somethings did not work out as planned. I started to cower. I felt this is not the true me. Failure, health attacks, personal problems- one after the other ransacked me. I felt like giving up and thought of going into the comfort zone. I was unable to motivate myself. I felt so incapacitated I could not even update my blog. I was deeply discouraged. Words did not flow out from mind to my fingers so I can type them. Something stopped me. I felt totally powerless. I know it is the evil resistance which is haunting me down right. It has the perfect battlefield where I am falling.
Wait ! …(A deep voice inside me told) “You are not this”…” You are powerful”.. “All this is happening for a reason and in fact a good reason”.. “Defeat that evil now… be courageous … now is the perfect time”…”There is no courage unless you are scared”. I listened to my inner voice. I closely observed what happened to me. There is a lot of positive in it. And so much to learn. I waged a war against Resistance and its allies. I felt good. I feel a lot more better. I could write now and I could do all the things I know I can do. I know the war is not over.
But I am fighting.